4 posts tagged “brunswick weirdness files”

OK, does anyone know why a helicopter was buzzing Brunswick--flying extremely low and making multiple passes at the city--at 3 AM last night?

I checked the Frederick News Post online but saw no mention of bad traffic accidents, barricade situations, or overturned rail cars.

The helicopter woke me up, it was so loud and so close...I literally thought it was going to land in the cemetery half a blockaway from our house.

Mysterious.

Edited to add:

My friend found out the helicopter was responding to an accident near the Maryland/West Virginia line. They needed a place to land.

This notice appeared in our local paper recently:

"To the Knoxville Duck Thief: The two ducks that you left are lonely. You may as well come and take them too."

Aw, man, stolen ducks makes me sad.

But to the person whose ducks disappeared: I have learned that racoons will raid duck pens and kill ducks to eat, especially if said duck pen is near a body of water such as a creek or stream. Odd but true. Your thief might possibly be a raccoon. (It helps to think the ducks disappeared due to an act of nature as opposed to an act of evil.)

From our local newspaper this week:

"Two people at the Brunswick laundromat told Officer H--- they had seen a teenage boy running around naked at the shopping center. The girl identified the boy, age 15, and pointed him out. The boy, now clothed, admitted to the officer that he had made a naked circuit around the shopping center. The boy has been charged with two counts of indecent exposure."

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Overheard at our dollar store today in the personal care section:

Mystified, then irritated man: "Body wash? Give me a freakin' bar of soap!"

I live in Brunswick, Maryland, a town (it does not formally qualify to be a "city" yet) of about 5000 people located near the place where Maryland, Virginia, and West Virginia all come together. Brunswick is located in a fairly rural, agricultural county, yet it is also an hour's drive from Washington, DC, and 20 minutes away from Frederick, Maryland's second largest city (only Baltimore is bigger). So I am by no means stranded out in the country, but my town is often described as "quiet," "quaint," and "tiny."

This is a lot better than Brunswick's previous reputation during the latter half of the twentieth century, which can be best summarized by repeating the old local adage that "Brunswick is nothing more than hills, whores, and liquor stores." I have never seen any "whores" here, and I know of only one Brunswick liquor store, but the hills part is true.

Anyway, although things here can be relatively calm and quaint, there is an underlying streak of absurdity and weirdness here. Quirky things happen.

Although the editors of my local paper have toned down the weekly police reports, removing much of the absurdity and humor from the published accounts of our crimes and misdeeds, there's still a fair amound of weirdness being reported.

Take this example, from the February 22, 2007 edition of our paper:

"Mr. X of X Street was arrested and charged with secondary assault after a woman accused him of allegedly throwing a frozen burrito at her head."

What?!

I also love how the local theft reports always provide juicy details of which particular items were stolen:

"Ms. X was given a criminal citation for shoplifting. The store manager found $64.76 worth of stolen items, including multiple packages of diapers, a gallon of vegetable oil, a 3 pound can of green beans, and a 10-pound ham."

Kids, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. This is seriously the kind of crazy crap that happens here on a daily basis.

I love my weird little town.