11 posts from January 2008

So, 2008 is already shaping up to be quite the crazy year for me. While working my normal 9-to-5 job full time, I am also working on my own business for as many extra hours as I can squeeze in. My business partner and I started an S Corporation this month and we already have clients to serve. So I am trying to create materials for customers while also slowly executing a grass roots marketing campaign seeking more customers. On top of all this, I am also trying to make it to my son's wrestling matches while also doing prep work for an upcoming charity event I will be working at. I am feeling a little overwhelmed but also amazed at how much I have been able to squeeze in without succumbing to a cold, flu, or self-induced emotional freakout. Anyway, with all of this going on, my blogging has become intermittent. I miss it. I wish I had more hours in each day.

Caution: This rant discusses some pretty painful and awful material from the news, so please skip this post if you only want to read cheerful news on the RandomAnna blog.

Every time I boot up the computer and take a peek at the news headlines these days I am confronted with absolutely horrifying stories about adults killing children in hideous, brutal ways. Some examples from the news in recent weeks:

Honolulu: Man drops 2 year old child he is babysitting from overpass.

Washington, DC: Mentally ill mother kills her 4 daughters.

Georgia: Man has fight with wife, retaliates by dropping 4 children off of bridge.

Texas: Body of "Baby Grace" washes ashore inside storage tub.

Massachusetts: Woman decides to take her niece and nephew with her when she commits suicide by stepping into traffic.

Washington: Woman and her boyfriend kill 5 members of her family over Christmas, including her niece and nephew.

I have had enough of this! These stories make me absolutely sick. Here I am dealing with infertility and wishing I had an extra $10,000 so I could adopt a child while other people are literally throwing children away and murdering their young family members.

First off, I just don't understand why anyone would want to kill a child. Even if you think your kid is possessed by demons (as apparently Banita Jacks of Washington, DC did), why would you kill her to stop the demons? Wouldn't you want to take the child to a church or a doctor to heal them?

I know, I know, Ms. Jacks is mentally ill--so they say. But I don't think that's an excuse. I've been incredibly depressed before; I've even wanted to die before. But never once did I want other people to suffer along with me--I just wanted my suffering to stop. I think some of these killers are just evil and callous, like Kimberly Ann Trenor and Royce Clyde Zeigler, the mother and stepfather who beat "Baby Grace" to death rather than just giving the girl back to her loving father and grandmother in Ohio (who had been looking for little Riley Ann Sawyers since Trenor ran off to Texas to live with Zeigler.) There is no excuse for what they did to Riley--it is just pure, unadulterated evil.

So many of these cases make me so angry on so many levels. How come so many birth moms in the US are able to kidnap their children and yet our family courts do nothing about it? How come our Child Protective Services let children slip through the cracks despite reports of neglect in the home, as in the case of the 4 Jacks daughters of Washington, DC? Something has to change or children are going to keep dying. How many more corpses of youngsters will need to fill our urban morgues before people finally stand up and try to stop this slaughter?

There is so much to be done...

Our family courts need to stop assuming that children are automatically safe with their biological mothers just because women are supposedly nurturers. Many women certainly are wonderful nurturers, but so are many men as well. Physical custody should not be awarded based on gender alone. It is imperative that our family court judges, guardians ad litem, and childrens' legal representatives thoroughly evaluate each parent before awarding custody. Don't gloss over the paperwork--investigate each parent and their background before issuing your opinions on physical and legal custody. Everyone makes mistakes, but if a parent's background includes a pervasive history of drugs, violence, or mental illness, then those factors need to be explored in detail before any decisions are made. I am not saying that someone who experiences a bout of mental illness is automatically a bad parent; all I am saying is that if such an experience is in someone's background, then at least ask a few questions about it before making assumptions.

Our social services clearly need to be overhauled, and they also require more funding so that all accusations of abuse and neglect can be investigated properly. In the Jacks case, at least one report was made stating that the children were in a household where neglect was clearly occurring; Jacks herself admitted that last year she was starving the girls to clear them of their "demons." A social worker visited the Jacks home and noted that the mother seemed to be having some problems with mental stability, yet the case was subsequently closed because the Department of Social Services assumed that the Jacks family had moved to Maryland. In fact, they had not moved at all. Jacks remained in the apartment with the corpses of her four children (who may have been dead since last May) until the sheriffs arrived to issue an eviction notice last week. Outrageous.

And I'm not the first person to decry our health care system for the shoddy job it does handling patients with mental illnesses. Insurance barely covers weekly visits to psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists; millions go uninsured every year, including children; medications are extraordinarily expensive and out of reach for many people who desperately need them. It is patently absurd. If the woman in Massachusetts had received adequate health care for her depression and suicidal urges, then most likely her young niece and nephew would still be alive today. If Banita Jacks had been treated for her condition, then her beautiful girls could have had a chance to go live with relatives or in a foster home (which would at least have given them a chance at life).

Somehow as a culture we need to send a message to stressed out caregivers, be they biological parents, step-parents, aunts, uncles, or any other babysitters: If you can't handle the present situation--whatever that situation may be--and you need to get away from the child, then take him or her to a church, a police station, a fire hall, or someplace else where other people can take care of him or her. Then just walk away.

It's absolutely cold and callous, yes--but so much better than beating or slaughtering the child.

I wish there was some way I could intervene in one of these situations and take over as guardian of one of these endangered children. I have room in my house and in my heart for another child, and I have enough love and patience and money to help another kid live a safe and normal life. It's not right that these kids are being killed when there are open homes like mine that would gladly take them in. 

This massacre of children in America needs to stop.  

Brunswick's own CPL Youth Center is hosting its second annual observation of the Chinese Lunar New Year on Saturday, February 9, 2008, at Brunswick High School. Admission is $5.00 per person.

2008 is the Year of the Rat, or, if you prefer, the Year of the Mouse.

Watch cultural and martial arts performances (including some by the kids who use the youth center), browse the wares of local vendors and sponsors, and take a chance at the Instant Raffle at this popular fundraiser event. All proceeds benefit the youth center and its programs.

5 to 9 PM            $5 per person

Brunswick High School Auditorium

For more information, go to the CPL Youth Center website.

What food item would you miss the most if it were removed from your diet and recipes? 
Submitted by scorpion1116.  

Cheese!!!

Argh, I'm not in the mood for this particular business trip. I love the customer but the meeting hours are grueling. I think I get back home on Thursday...we'll see.

What do you do with the cards and letters you receive?  Do you keep them all, just keep the photos, throw them away? 
Inspired by jacolily.

1. I keep all photographs.

2. I try to keep as many of the letters and cards as I can without creating a paper avalanche. Even so, sometimes I create some massively huge heaps of papers and documents that need to be weeded out periodically. I keep all letters and cards with significant, heart felt messages on them. If a card just has a signature below a printed message, unless that person is now dead, I toss the card or note. If there is something pretty on the card or note that I can use in a future art project, then I recycle the pieces.

All of the following events are free for the public:

These workshops are held on the second Saturday of the month from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m.

The January through March sessions will be held at:

Fellowship Hall

Bethany Lutheran Church

109 First Avenue

Brunswick, MD 21716

The sessions in April and May sessions will be held at:

Grace Episcopal Church

114 East A Street

Brunswick, MD 21716

Although the Brunswick High School wrestling Railroaders had a tough night on Friday at the Fort Hill Super Duels in Cumberland, Maryland, they regrouped and rocked the house today, placing #2 out of 9 very talented wrestling teams from the region. Each BHS team member wrestled 9 times in less than 48 hours, so they are all hurting tonight, but they (along with Coach Coates and Coach Tillis and their parents) should be very proud of their accomplishments today. In particular, nobody's going to forget how Zack M. picked up two opponents and spun them around his head multiple times like they were made out of balsawood--that's entertainment! As always, the team looks forward to fighting their way towards #1 in next year's duels. Good show, Railroaders!

December 2007 164

What are you most grateful for in your life right now?
Submitted by Becca-Pink.

 

I am grateful that my mother is still alive and doing fairly well today; she is in her 70's now and her family has a history of heart and circulatory problems. Mom had a heart attack in 2003 on the same night that my father died; it was mainly a stress induced heart attack and it only stunned her heart tissue. She was able to recover almost 100%. But lately she has felt some odd "fluttering" sensations in her chest and this week the physicians documented a heart murmur. More tests are required to determine what to do. I am grateful I have had my mother in my life this long and I hope she stays with us and is happy and healthy for many more years.

For those of you who are interested in Finland and available on this upcoming Monday, the Finnish prime minister will be speaking at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. Here are the details, courtesy of the National Press Club: