Random Rant: WTF is it With People Brutally Killing So Many Children Right Now?
Caution: This rant discusses some pretty painful and awful material from the news, so please skip this post if you only want to read cheerful news on the RandomAnna blog.
Every time I boot up the computer and take a peek at the news headlines these days I am confronted with absolutely horrifying stories about adults killing children in hideous, brutal ways. Some examples from the news in recent weeks:
Honolulu: Man drops 2 year old child he is babysitting from overpass.
Washington, DC: Mentally ill mother kills her 4 daughters.
Georgia: Man has fight with wife, retaliates by dropping 4 children off of bridge.
Texas: Body of "Baby Grace" washes ashore inside storage tub.
Massachusetts: Woman decides to take her niece and nephew with her when she commits suicide by stepping into traffic.
Washington: Woman and her boyfriend kill 5 members of her family over Christmas, including her niece and nephew.
I have had enough of this! These stories make me absolutely sick. Here I am dealing with infertility and wishing I had an extra $10,000 so I could adopt a child while other people are literally throwing children away and murdering their young family members.
First off, I just don't understand why anyone would want to kill a child. Even if you think your kid is possessed by demons (as apparently Banita Jacks of Washington, DC did), why would you kill her to stop the demons? Wouldn't you want to take the child to a church or a doctor to heal them?
I know, I know, Ms. Jacks is mentally ill--so they say. But I don't think that's an excuse. I've been incredibly depressed before; I've even wanted to die before. But never once did I want other people to suffer along with me--I just wanted my suffering to stop. I think some of these killers are just evil and callous, like Kimberly Ann Trenor and Royce Clyde Zeigler, the mother and stepfather who beat "Baby Grace" to death rather than just giving the girl back to her loving father and grandmother in Ohio (who had been looking for little Riley Ann Sawyers since Trenor ran off to Texas to live with Zeigler.) There is no excuse for what they did to Riley--it is just pure, unadulterated evil.
So many of these cases make me so angry on so many levels. How come so many birth moms in the US are able to kidnap their children and yet our family courts do nothing about it? How come our Child Protective Services let children slip through the cracks despite reports of neglect in the home, as in the case of the 4 Jacks daughters of Washington, DC? Something has to change or children are going to keep dying. How many more corpses of youngsters will need to fill our urban morgues before people finally stand up and try to stop this slaughter?
There is so much to be done...
Our family courts need to stop assuming that children are automatically safe with their biological mothers just because women are supposedly nurturers. Many women certainly are wonderful nurturers, but so are many men as well. Physical custody should not be awarded based on gender alone. It is imperative that our family court judges, guardians ad litem, and childrens' legal representatives thoroughly evaluate each parent before awarding custody. Don't gloss over the paperwork--investigate each parent and their background before issuing your opinions on physical and legal custody. Everyone makes mistakes, but if a parent's background includes a pervasive history of drugs, violence, or mental illness, then those factors need to be explored in detail before any decisions are made. I am not saying that someone who experiences a bout of mental illness is automatically a bad parent; all I am saying is that if such an experience is in someone's background, then at least ask a few questions about it before making assumptions.
Our social services clearly need to be overhauled, and they also require more funding so that all accusations of abuse and neglect can be investigated properly. In the Jacks case, at least one report was made stating that the children were in a household where neglect was clearly occurring; Jacks herself admitted that last year she was starving the girls to clear them of their "demons." A social worker visited the Jacks home and noted that the mother seemed to be having some problems with mental stability, yet the case was subsequently closed because the Department of Social Services assumed that the Jacks family had moved to Maryland. In fact, they had not moved at all. Jacks remained in the apartment with the corpses of her four children (who may have been dead since last May) until the sheriffs arrived to issue an eviction notice last week. Outrageous.
And I'm not the first person to decry our health care system for the shoddy job it does handling patients with mental illnesses. Insurance barely covers weekly visits to psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists; millions go uninsured every year, including children; medications are extraordinarily expensive and out of reach for many people who desperately need them. It is patently absurd. If the woman in Massachusetts had received adequate health care for her depression and suicidal urges, then most likely her young niece and nephew would still be alive today. If Banita Jacks had been treated for her condition, then her beautiful girls could have had a chance to go live with relatives or in a foster home (which would at least have given them a chance at life).
Somehow as a culture we need to send a message to stressed out caregivers, be they biological parents, step-parents, aunts, uncles, or any other babysitters: If you can't handle the present situation--whatever that situation may be--and you need to get away from the child, then take him or her to a church, a police station, a fire hall, or someplace else where other people can take care of him or her. Then just walk away.
It's absolutely cold and callous, yes--but so much better than beating or slaughtering the child.
I wish there was some way I could intervene in one of these situations and take over as guardian of one of these endangered children. I have room in my house and in my heart for another child, and I have enough love and patience and money to help another kid live a safe and normal life. It's not right that these kids are being killed when there are open homes like mine that would gladly take them in.
This massacre of children in America needs to stop.
Comments
While I agree with a lot of this, I think the kind of slo-mo apocalypse has been going on for generations. it just doesn't usually make the news.
I think there are other agendas at play, as well, Stuff like how we view the role of a family as a unit, and what we are willing to define as a family. Stuff like how we view youth, and age.
But, for me, the bottom line ever is: We will be judged as a society not by how well we have rewarded the strongest, but by how well we helped the weakest. If I could write only one jeremiad, it would be on that topic.
But, i'm not here to hector anyone. Just want to say: all we can do, as it stands, is to try to be as good as we can be. We cannot save them all, but we can spread whatever goodness we have.
Heather had the exact same reply recently (about not being able to have a baby thus far while other folks are either callous towards their children or even physically abusing or killing them) to this crap in the news you mention and to a situation involving a friend of ours.
It appears that her boss left her (our friend) with a newborn she and her spouse (the boss and her husband) had just adopted so they could go to Disney for TWO WEEKS! Although this was ridiculous in and of itself, what really pissed me off was how our friend was handling it. She was NOT happy about the situation, and so guess who got ignored? The baby. It was positively tragic. Heather and I took turns holding the baby while she, my sister, and my mother all agreed about everything.
On a slightly different note, this need we all have (particularly women) to constantly "uphold" and "support" one another leads both to mediocrity being praised as greatness and a general sense that all is well with oneself while all the time one is making positively terrible choices (e.i., our friend). I wanted to slap her, I was so angry. And to hear my own mum say that she vacuumed when my sister and I cried as babies hurt, but it didn't surprise me in the slightest.
Yeah, I can feel your anger. I think you've really touched on some serious points here. I don't claim to know beyond what I've witnessed what's wrong with people, but I do see the health care system as being partially to blame. Where are the "sane people" around these brutal murderers? (including the healthcare system, I mean isn't someone monitoring these people?)
You'd think someone, a neighbor, friends, relatives-- anyone must have noticed something that was a little left of center. Think on your pumpkin smashing neighbor a minute-- shouldn't he be on some kind of meds? Something should be done about that person, but I guess as long as he doesn't touch you it's ok. Though he may not have actually touched anybody, we still don't know what's in his basement.
I wonder if it's that, generally speaking, people don't care or feel it's their problem to get involved when they recognize something suspicious? Some might feel, "people are people...some are good and some are bad...as long as I'm safe...I can accept it."
It often seems shocking too because a lot of these psychopaths are very good at concealing their sickness around others. Unfortunately, it seems "normal" people don't have the time for anything beyond their own 'effin' noses. Are people really seeing anything or anyone on a daily basis? I admit that I might notice something queer or socially odd about an individual, but how long would I contemplate it to think it was something to be concerned about?
From my most recent experience with insomnia and panic discorder I felt there was a point when my doctor believed I couldn't be helped because I was unwilling to take medication that I felt was giving me nasty side effects. He may have been right to some degree, that it was panic, but should he throw his hands up at me and stop there? Certainly my doctor wasn't entirely wrong about my stubborness, but he wasn't entirely right either. Should he be responsible for me? I had to make some choices that I felt were the best for me. Did my mental state know what was best for me? I am fortunate that I had Dave by my side acting as a co-decision maker. I mean, over time without proper cognitive skills from lack of sleep, maybe I would have become some sort of killer. I'd like to think my kind hearted soul would have prevented me from going down that path regardless, of how terrible and disoriented I felt.
We have excellent health coverage. But even so, if there comes a point when you feel like no one can help you, what then? Even for those of us with proper health coverage it's no easy task. If you're insane well...I don't know. Would it occur to you to get help? I know that when Dave and I have health/doctor issues we keep searching until we find someone who can help us. But, most people don't have that freedom. A lot of people would give up.
I too am angered by violence and how people/parents kill children, and how can someone kill his girlfriend and serve her up for dinner? I heard about this not long ago. I mean, it's not just shooting, it's down right brutal. Is it the result of unequal opportunities and the scant offerings in our society that is setting the pace for all of this violence? Is the scale of mental illness too numerous and too wide to recognize what the real issue is? Can there be control by proper healthcare?
Sorry about my ranting questions. I honestly don't know what I'm saying. And Anna, I think there are just a fraction of people like yourself who are even affected enough by it to be angry and contemplate it.